Some of us might know Red Forman as the young Eric Forman’s father on the hit sitcom, “That 70’s Show” He is a character that I have grown to the love, due to his hard-ass tactics. Here is a tribute to his character, from my favorite lines from the show.XD
“When I die, I wanna be buried face-down so that anyone who doesn’t like me can come to my grave and kiss my ass.”
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“I’d like to help, but, not as much as I’d like not to.”
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Kelso: I just have a classic case of hand-stuck-in-vase. (gestures nonchalantly)
Red: Well, get it out. Otherwise, you’ll have a case of foot-stuck-in-ass.
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Eric: What’s the difference if it’s a Belgian waffle? What’s so Belgian about ‘em?
Red: They crumble at the hands of the nazis.
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Kitty: Red, shouting at your son isn’t going to help the situation!
Red: But shouting is the only thing I love about being a father!
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Eric: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Red: Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things keep happening to you? It’s because you’re a dumbass.
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Eric: My head hurts.
Red: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
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Red: When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.
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Red: If the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say, “Thank You. And God Bless America.”
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Eric: I believe that everyone’s political opinion is valid, and worth hearing.
Red: Well that’s perfect Eric. Use that line when you run for Miss America.
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Red: Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.
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Red: Look, Jackie. I don’t know what to say except… your dad’s rich, isn’t he?
Jackie: Yeah.
Red: Well, you can use that to get him out of prison.
Jackie: Oh, my god. That’s such a good idea. I’ll do that. You know, it’s true. In this country, the rich get treated better than most people.
Red: Yeah. [sarcastically] I’m so glad I took some shrapnel to make that possible…
Jackie: Me too.
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Red: (to Eric) Happy Birthday. You know, the lawn’s not gonna cut itself.
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Kiity: Where did you learn your parenting?
Red: Korea.
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Nina: I can’t take care of this parking ticket. You were parked in a fire lane.
Red: But I was just getting some milk.
Nina: What if there was a fire?
Red: Then I’d pour my milk on it.
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Red: Steven, I’ve come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your ass.
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There are so many more of these funny moments with Red, and reading these is nothing compared to watching them.XD
